Tired, beaten, weary soul of mine
my inner light is losing its shine.
Every night and every day I pray for my Tormentor to go away.
His words cut deeply into my heart.
His words of hatred tear me apart.
And just when I think he can cause no more pain,
He spouts more hurtful things over and over again.
His angry words are only half my strife.
He has this cold angry stare as if he wanted to take my life.
Although its been a while since I felt his heavy hands
He creates fear in me because he raises them up now and again.
Whats worse than the way he makes me feel,
are the things I want to do when I cant deal.
All I want to do is close my eyes and go to sleep.
I dont want to wake up, I pray the Lord my soul he’ll keep.
I’m not the same naive girl I used to be.
My faith is tainted and jaded with ugly.
I do things and say things that make me not like who I have become.
I pray for quiet peace.
Please Lord give me some.
So many times I have thought things I’m ashamed to speak,
but how long can one last being tormented week after week.
I have a small child thats why I cling to this weary life of mine.
But I feel I’m losing my grasp no matter how much I say "Everything will be just fine."
Last night I was close to falling off the edge of sanity.
His looks, his words, his smugful vanity.
I never felt such vile hate in all my years.
I think he gets a kick out of reducing me to endless tears.
I actually felt such a rage, such a loss of self awareness.
I wanted to snuff out the source of all my pain and unfairness.
I raised my voice, I raised my hand!
I said things to cause him pain!
Now I am no better than him, and it did no good.
Shame was my only gain.
Tired, beaten, weary soul of mine.
My inner light has lost its shine.
