INCANDESCENT BLU

at any given moment 11-2-11

2011-11-02T14:41:00.001-07:00

Mmmm

At any given moment

Mmmm

At any given moment

Mmm mmm mmm

At any given moment You can be found on my mind

Thinking about your sexy smile

And kissing your soft lips for a while

Getting wrapped up in your arms

Falling in love with all your boyish charms

Oooo

At any given moment

Oooo

At any given moment

Ooo ooo ooo

At any given moment you can be found on my mind

Thinking of your gentle touch

And missing you so so much

Taking you into my room

And giving our love what it needs to bloom

Aaah

At any given moment

Aaah

At any given moment

Aah ahh ahh

At any given moment you can be found on my mind

You can see I’m in love with you

I think the whole world sees it too

Youre so cute with your bashful ways

I love all our yesterdays

And

At any given moment

And

At any given moment

Mmmm

At any given moment you can be found on my mind.

2011-09-01T10:03:00.001-07:00

i love being on the outside looking in
it allows me to see webs of lies people spin
those who pretend to commit no sin
and those that hide behind a phoney grin.
being outside looking in allows me to see
more clearly the people I keep close to me
those who know the truths of honesty
and those who love me for me.
blu (tbc...)8/24

Student Nurse Tribute for my sister Rachael 8/16/11

2011-08-16T12:10:00.001-07:00

Why do we stay up and study all hours of the night?
Why do we give sleep such a determined fight?
Why do we put aside our needs for the needs at hand?
We are Nurses in training and we are in high demand.
Student Nurses are Angels in training about to receive their wings.
Student Nurses are Angels in training about to do amazing things.
All the hard work we have endured to accomplish our goals
All of the sacrifices we have made will comfort many souls.
We may feel unappreciated, and pushed to our limits.
We may even at times be pushed to call it quits.
But just one smile or one “Thank you” will melt our giving hearts.
Just one is all it takes to renew our love of our healing arts.
All the bad feelings disappear to be replaced by the values we represent:
Human dignity, compassion, dedication, integrity, leadership and excellence..
We are comforters, and counselors. We are the frontline of medicine.
Not only are Nurses Angels, Nurses are very special friends.

There Is Nothing to Forgive

2010-11-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

My life is nothing like before
I've done, seen and heard a whole lot more
If he's doing me wrong
He's gonna sing the same old song
Imma pack him up and ship him out the door
I'm sucka free, no more going back for more
The girl of the past is history
No more looking back for me
No more tears shed for a guy
No more waiting or being a standby
I have way too much heart
So I'm not gonna fall apart
I have way too much love to give
I have way too much life to live
   way too much live to live
So there is nothing to forgive

Wide and deep as the bluest skies
Measures the Enlightenment in my eyes
Go ahead and play your little game
I'm not naive that you are a lame
I know how to get to the truth

When I do, Imma shoot you down like John Wilkes Booth
I'm not impressed with your dead presidents
or an upscale address of residence
I love without being in love
I'm waiting for a sign from heaven above
A sign to tell me if you are the one
Till then any relationship can come undone
You can chill with all that macho bravada
All the charming talk will get you nada
Nothing you can do will change my mind
I've been around and I know your kind

My life is nothing like before
I love me a whole lot more
If he doing me wrong
I know that it wont be long
Imma pack him up and ship him out the door
I'm a good woman I deserve a whole lot more
No more looking back for me
No more believing his story
No more tears over a man
I've taken all the hurt I can
I have way too much heart
So Im not gonna fall apart
I have way too much love to give
and way too much life to live
       way too much life to live
So there is nothing to forgive

All I want from love is fidelity
For a man to be honest with me
It seems no man can be true
I prayed, It would be different with you
If you 've done wrong time will tell
I will see the signs I know them well
Dark intentions come to light
Dont worry about making things right
I promised me , "to thy own self be true"
I love me more than I love you
I can walk away with no hesitence
Go run Game a girl with no sense
You will be just another lesson in my life
Another man who wont deserve me as a wife

My life is nothing like before
I've done, seen and heard a whole lot more
So when you do me wrong
Just know it wont be long
Imma pack you up and ship you out the door
Don't be surprised, I'm honest to the core
I'm a new woman and I'm grown
I know I'm just fine all on my own
So go ahead and do you
Just know Imma do me too
No worries if this is the end
It is all good my friend
Im not gonna fall aprt
I have way too much heart
I have way too much love to give
and way too much life to live
      way to much life to live
So there is nothing to forgive

Recession Depression 2010

2010-06-23T05:29:00.000-07:00

I can feel the sadness creepin in
My world is about to flip and spin
My mind is always submiting within
No matter how hard I try to please I never win
My life is like a Merry -Go- Round
What goes up must come down
So my smile becomes a frown
Sobbing replaces the laughter sound
All I ever do is think about him
Wondering why his outlook on life is so grim
I feel his rage though I am not his victim
I have no recourse but to pray
Tired of tears every night and day
When will happiness come to stay
Im beginning to believe it never may
Empathetic to his anger about repression
Struggling to survive from fall out of recession
His words, how they do leave a lasting impression
Knowing this sadness before I am anticipating depression.

Suchen meine Mütter gebären Familie editdelete

2010-05-25T15:02:00.000-07:00

Meine Mutter wurde in Kampen Sylt Deutschland in 1951 geboren. Sie Wurde in 1953 durch einen Amerikaner Copule Angenommen und hat sie in Amerika gelebt, da sie 3 war. Ihr Name, wenn sie in einem Waisenhaus in Deutschland gelebt hat, war Rosewitha Witte ot Wiitte. Ich hoffte, jemanden in Deutschland zu finden, das würde entweder jenen Nachnamen hat, oder kennt jemanden durch jenen Namen. Ich hoffte, dass sie Familienmitglieder fragen könnten, wenn sie von irgendeinen Frauen in ihren Familien wissen, die ein Mädchenbaby zu einem Waisenhaus iin den Jahren 1951 zu 1954 aufgegeben hatten. Es ist mein Glaube, dass sie ein Posten WWII Kind ist, und darf das Ergebnis wenn Beziehung zwischen einem Soldaten, der entweder jenes Gebiet während der Jahre nach den Krieg oder sie besetzt hat, ist das vielleicht ein Kind von sein „ein SS Züchtend Haus“. Eine andere Möglichkeit ist war ihre Mutter nur zu arm, sich sie zu der Zeit zu pflegen. Keine Materie was das Ergebnis der Suche ist wir nur hoffen, Antworten zu finden. Meine Mütter angenommener Vater ist gestorben, als sie 13 war, ihr Bruder ist gestorben, als sie 20 war, und ihre angenommene Mutter ist vor ungefähr 20 Jahren gestorben. Sie hat nie wirklich anerkannt durch den Rest ihrer angenommenen Familie so daher sie fühlt wie eine verlorene Seele gefühlt. Alle hat sie für Familie ist ihr Ehemann und ihre Kinder. Ich kenne seine eine verrückte Idee nur, zufällige Leute in Deutschland zu kontaktieren, aber jeder Andere sucht wir haben versucht hat führt nicht irgendwo. Das Waisenhaus, in das meine Mutter war, als ein Säugling wurde verbrannt bevor socoiety hat behalten Informationen über Computer so alle Dateien sind gegangen. Im, der traurig ist zum interupting Ihres Lebens mit meiner Suche, meine Müttergeburtfamilie zu finden,. thankyou für Ihre Zeit. Sie sind sehr großzügig gewesen, zu antworten. Aufrichtig April

TO MY DAUGHTER

2010-02-03T12:05:00.000-08:00

I thought I was a woman but I was just a girl
the first time I kissed a boy and felt love in my heart.
I thought I was a woman but I was just a girl
the first time a boy I had kissed tore my heart apart.
I thought I was a woman but I was just a girl
the first time I knew it was more than like, it was love.
I thought I was a woman but I was just a girl
The first time I vowed my love before my family and God Above.
I thought I was a woman but I was just a girl
The first time I held my child and realized I was a Mother.
I thought I was a woman but I was just a girl
the first time the one I loved betrayed me for another.
I thought I was a woman but I was just a girl
the first time I thought I knew the difference between the two.
I knew I was a woman and no longer just a girl
The first time I decided to love myself and to thyne own self be true.
Now that I am a woman I have not forgotten being just a girl
so for the first time my dear daughter let me say to you
On your journey to being a woman and no longer just a girl
I will always be your mother and have taken this journey too.
I will be the woman to guide you while you are just a girl
the first time that you need me I will be here for you.
Just like the woman who guided me when I was just a girl
teaching you to love yourself, as woman and as your Mother,I must do.

INDEPENDENT LADY

2010-01-21T15:14:00.000-08:00

It's a hot summer night on the southside

finna get ready to take a li'l ride

Gonna cruise the hood in my pearl Escalady

Gonna sight some brothas

Maybe act a li'l shady

They holla and they flex as I slide by

But I'm still lookin' for the right guy

He's gotta be a hottie

he's gotta stay fly

With a li'l bit of thug in his eye

You all know the Independent lady

White Honey in the pearl Escalady

I learned from my man how to be shady

Didn't wanna slide but baby he made me

So here's a brothas chance to be

down with me

But he's gotta be V.I.P.

not just anybody

Every body's poppin' bottles these days

Downin' themselves in a purple haze

All kindza drink at ev'ry house party

Yes, even the ol' cliche Baccardi

If you're VIP then you've got the Cha Ching

and all the icy icy on your bling bling

If you ain't clubin' you ain't doin the damn thing

NOW LISTEN TO THE PRETTY LADY SING

You all know the Independent Lady

Not lookin' for a yes, just need a maybe

We gonna spend some time , Is that ok baby

Come and take a ride in my Escalady

We gonna cruise the hood sippin on HQ

Baby if you're good mix in the Henny too

If I'm gonna slide I want all to see

You lookin' like the Hottie with the V.I.P.

A li'l bit of street to really sex me

Dont worry bout my man he's history

We're goin' to the club to shake all night

Maybe if I'm lucky there will be a girl fight

He might be there with her if I am right

He's gonna see me in a new light

You all know the Independent Lady

White Honey in a pearl Escalady

Didn't wanna do it but I'm out bein' shady

Didn't wanna slide but baby he made me

So here's a brothas chance to be

Down with me

But he's gotta be V.I.P.

not just anybody

You all know the Independent Lady

White Honey in the pearl Escalady

Not lookin' for a yes just need a maybe

Didn't wanna slide but baby he made me

So come and take a ride in my Escalady

MY HEART STILL LONGS FOR HIM

2010-01-21T15:06:00.000-08:00

I think about him, still, after all this time

The way he looks, the way he smells

Sometimes, When I'm sleep

I forget he is gone

I reach for him

He is not there

My heart still longs for him

I sleepwalk through every day, still, daydreaming

About his laugh, his smile

Sometimes, when I'm out

I think I hear him

I turn around

He is not there

My heart still longs for him

I love him, still, after all this time

all his mistakes, all his lies

All the time, I miss him

I just want to be with him

But I cannot

He is not there

My heart still longs for him

GOODBYE LOVE

2010-01-21T15:02:00.000-08:00

I let go of my heart today

I said goodbye to my love

It's the hardest thing I ever had to say

I said goodbye to my love

I removed the ring he gave to me

I said goodbye to my love

I erased every trace that I could see

I said goodbye to my love

It's sad to me he wont know our daughter

I said goodbye to my love

I wipe away those tears remembering he didn't want her

I said goodbye to my love

It is now time for me to grieve

I said goodbye to my love

I still dont understand why he had to leave

I said goodbye to my love

CRACK WIDOW 2007

2010-01-21T14:46:00.000-08:00

Once I was in love and soared through the heavens. He was my lover and my best friend for eight years. Life wasn't perfect but it was adventurous and fullfilling. My Love was stolen from me by the devil of all drugs. My heart bounds me to this weary planet where I mourn the loss of my love. Although he is still living, he is the walking dead. Seeing him on the street makes me cry remembering the man he used to be. Listening to my daughter cry for her father breaks my heart, knowing that I am not only denying myself I am also denying her the love we both long for. He cannot see past his own wants and needs. He cannot hear the pleas from his family, his friends, or me to get the help he needs to come back to us. He is addicted to the devil of all drugs and the man he was he is no more.

I want to soar the heavens again. I'm afraid there is no one who can help me until I have found my release from the grief that binds me here. I'm afraid that day will never come.
I dont know how to let go of my love for the man he was or my sorrow for the man he now is.
I am a crack widow.

BOY TOY

2010-01-21T14:25:00.000-08:00

Out rollin' in my blue jeans and white T
Bustin in a new pair of Nike
My ass lookin' Mighty, Mighty
I wear more bling than Ice T
My future's lookin' brightly
And now your girl , she wanna fight me

It's not my fault you're a play boy
I didn't know I was just your boy toy
finally free from you, I jump for joy
Now you only call me just to annoy
with the charms you try to deploy
your girls heart you did destroy

I didnt know the affect you would have on me
The hypnotic trance of your eyes held me fondly
I never asked to fall for you completely
What will I do, now that Im free
You still hanging around not letting me be
It's hard to walk away Independently

It should be her heart you seek, not mine
I didnt know bout her, thought I was your Valentine
I know our friendship was hard to define
What is it about me that gets you to cross the line
Why didn't I see the signs
Get out of my mind. Get out of my mind.

Hard at work tryin' to replace you
Better get your girl, that's what you should do
Tell her to pay me no mind cuz you and I are through
It wasn't only me. It takes two
You were chasing me, if she only knew
It's your fault , you shoulda stayed true.

Out rollin' in my blue jeans and white T
Bustin in a new pair of Nike
The ass is lookin mighty , mighty
I'm wearin' more Ice than Ice T
My future is lookin' brightly
And now your girl she wanna fight me

I didn't know you were a play boy
Didn't know I was just your boy toy
finally free from you I jump for joy
Now you only call me just to annoy
with the charming ways you deploy
my trust in you you did destroy

TEARS FALL

2010-01-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

Tears
fall
one
by
one
from deep glassy pools of blue
One
by
one
tears
fall
from a pain that has no mirrored reflection at the source
One
by
one
tears
stream
over a pale white saddened surface
One
by
one
tears
fall
from one who has loved and lost love in a battle
Won
by
One
Tears Fall

LOVED BY ME

2010-01-21T14:03:00.000-08:00

I want to kiss you behind your ears

I want to be the one to ease your fears

I want to hold you close to me

And show you what it's like to be

Loved by me

I want to put my arms around you tight

Cuddle up to you every night

Tell you everything is gonna be alright

And show you what it's like to be

Loved by me

I want to look into your eyes

And know I will hear no lies

I want to hold you close to me

And show what it's like to be

Loved by me

You wanna know how it would be

If you was to be with me

Just take me by the hand

Let's walk on the beach in the sand

As the waves splash our feet

I pull you close and our lips meet

As we walk along the shore

I will make your heart soar

I know what I have to do

I have to give all my love to you

And show you what its like to be

Loved by me

THE IDEA OF YOU 2002

2010-01-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

The idea of you is Poetry

The way you swagga and sway

As you walk across the room

The gleam in your eye as you smile and flirt

The scent of your cologne as you walk by

oh my

But your voice, so smooth, so silky

Gets me so hot

I love it when you call my name

And when you call me baby

Even when you tell me maybe

I imagine what it would be like

To feel your skin touching mine

To feel your breath in my ear as you hold me near

I wonder what your fingers feel like

on the small of my back

And what they would feel like

When you slide them up into my hair

And pull my head back

I day dream about your succulent lips

caressing my neck, my breast, my thigh

The very thought of you inside of me

Brings out a sigh

I find the more I'm near you

the more these thoughts cross my mind

Sometimes they are so vivd and clear

Reality gets left behind

When I look into your eyes I try to see

If thoughts of me tempt you

When you whipser my name

I know that they do.

ODE TO CUPID

2010-01-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

Oh winged creature who floats soft in the air

And did pierce my heart deep with your arrow

Oh with your Angelic soft flesh, and golden hair

You captured my heart quick as a sparrow

Oh protector and giver of love and care

You made me see plain man as Pharoh

Oh Cupid, our hearts you combined as one

Sealed with honeydew never to come undone

CRAVING ME

2010-01-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

Do you crave these lips

My tongue and sweet taste?

Do you crave these hips

My thighs and small waist?

Do you crave this body

My soft skin and curves?

Do you crave this hottie?

Do I excite those nerves?

THE LONELY WOMAN'S CHRISTMAS WISH 2003

2010-01-21T13:25:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas is a man with a plan

One who has all his teeth and maybe a tan

He would have to have his own money and a REAL job

He would have to be outgoing, I dont want a snob

All I want for Christmas is a man who treats me right

One who knows where his home is and isn't out all night

He would take me out dancing once in a while

One who when I came home from work would greet me with a smile

All I want for Christmas is a man who will give me his heart

Even if he's only kinda cute and only kinda smart

He doesnt have to be perfect in every little way

Santa, do u think you could bring him before Christmas day?

LONELY NEW YEAR 2002

2010-01-21T13:19:00.000-08:00

What will the new year bring?

I know it's not a shiny new ring

Probably more lonely cold nights

where i sit at home with no lights

My heart saddens at the thought

Sometimes I wish love could be bought

Maybe then I would have a chance

To find true love at first glance

My heart aches every day

For the love I felt has went away

I feel nothing inside, Im numb

When my son's father calls me dumb

His words dont hurt me anymore

Why wont he just walk out the door?

I have nothing left to give

Sometimes I dont even want to live

I see not future love for me

I AM DESTINED TO BE LONELY

CHRISTMAS TEARS 2002

2010-01-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

Christmas should be filled with joy

Laughter for every girl and boy

But smiles wont be on my face

A stream of tears will take their place

Because I am forced to live in hell

With a man who cannot tell

That I dont want him in my life

And I will never be his wife

Anger, sorrow and depression

Will leave an everlasting impression

On my lonely empty heart

The sadness I fear will never depart

I no longer like the holiday season

Without love there is no reason

So no smiles will you see from me

Till my tormentor sets me free

HOW DO I LOVE THEE

2010-01-21T13:03:00.000-08:00

How do I love thee, let me count the ways.

I love the way you look at me with a sparkle in your eye.

I love the way you whisper my name and think you are so sly.

I love the way you act so crazy just to make me smile.

I love the way you hold me tight even if it is just for a while.

I love the way you hold my hand and walk with me at the park.

I love the way you make your desires clear with no mercy like a shark.

I love the way you talk to me as if you have nothing to hide.

I love the way you listen to me I know in you I can confide.

I love the way you kiss me deeply and make it last forever.

I love the way you touch my body, each touch a new endeavor.

I love the way you make love to me and the whole world disappears.

I love the way you love me, with your love I have no fears.

TABOO

2010-01-21T12:12:00.000-08:00

Taboo, what does that mean to you?

Does it mean the sexy secret things you shouldn't do?

Or is it the breaking of rules not meant to be broken?

Is it dating someone you shouldn't date?

Hating someone you shouldn't hate?

Loving someone you shouldn't love?

Is it crossing that line not meant to be crossed?

Is it doing something because you know you can

Even though you know you shouldn't?

Is what is Taboo for you Taboo for me too?

Taboo? What does that mean to you?

Is it doing what you've always been told you're not supposed to do?

If you don't get caught is what you did still considered Taboo?

Is it doing what you want even though society says no?

Does your conscience make what you do Taboo?

Taboo? What does that mean to you?

IT IS HEAVEN

2010-01-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

LOVE...IT IS TWO

YET BEING ONLY ONE

A MAN...A WOMAN

FUSED INTO AN ANGEL

IT IS HEAVEN

A VOW

2010-01-21T12:08:00.000-08:00

WHEN LOVE IS CHALLENGED

IT GROWS MORE SURE

UNITING TWO HEARTS

WITH BONDS THAT ENDURE

FULLFILLING A PROMISE

PLEDGED WITH GOLD

TO CHERISH FOREVER

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

SWIMMING WITH OTTERS

2010-01-21T12:00:00.000-08:00

Drifting silently on the quiet waters

the wind whispering secrets through my hair

warm sunlight caresses my creamy white skin

and shimmers in the wake of swimming otters.

Rocking gently on the quiet waters

the boat wandering from here to there

my mind begins to wonder and spin

as I gaze at the swimming otters.

Gliding gracefully in the quiet waters

the fish conspire to avoid their snare

how quickly their sleek bodies move within

the shadows of the playful swimming otters.

Submerging slowly into quiet waters

my thought escaping into the warm air

nature takes over as I sink in

and I am swimming with otters.

FREEDOM 1990

2010-01-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

If you wanted peace you should have spoken louder before

Now the choice has been made and it's time to go to war

The war may not be ours to fight, but its freedom we are fighting for.

I've thought long and hard of what this war means to me

I have decided that it is supposed to be

I know that if I lost my right to be free

I would pray that someone would help get it back for me.

We are Americans, born to be free

Proud of the heritage Given to you and me

You cry for peace and freedom from the war

But freedom is what our soldiers are fighting for.

Sometimes I think we take for granted

What the fathers of This country fought for

If it was our freedom on the line

Would it be so bad to go to war?

I CRY

2010-01-21T11:48:00.000-08:00

I don't sleep, I don't eat, I don't drean

I cry

I don't hate, I don't love, I don't feel

I cry

Memories haunt me

The future taunts me

I cry

& the tears are real

OBSESSION

2010-01-21T11:44:00.001-08:00

obsession

is that what it is that I am feeling?

is that the reason I am not healing?

obsession

is this why my heart doesn't matter?

is this why so many tears pitter patter?

obsession

is that why I don't let go of this man?

why I cannot reconstruct my lifes plan?

obsession

is this why I can't hear what others say?

is this the reason I'm wasting away?

OBSESSION

I LOSE 4/7/04

2010-01-21T11:41:00.000-08:00

Every time I trust you

I lose

Every time I love you

I lose

Every time I give you my heart

I lose

Every time I lose myself in you

I lose

It seems I have nothing of me left to lose

When I am no longer there for you

You will see you are the one who has lost

But I still lose

BLUE 4/7/04

2010-01-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

It's funny how sadness is described as feeling blue

My eyes are darkest blue while crying over you

For the moment I am happy but is it to good to be true?

My moments of happiness with you have far to few

My eyes are still blue, only a slightly lighter hue

It seems they are anticipating what mistake you will do

The tears are there waiting for you to give them their cue

When the sadness returns the dark blue will renew

BROKEN 1/24/06

2010-01-21T11:24:00.000-08:00

I'd rather be beaten than broken

Bruises on the outside can be hid

Bruises on the outside soon fade away

Broken bones can mend with time

Beating is a punishable crime

I'd rather be beaten than broken

A fake smile can't hide the bruises inside my soul

Tears give away the bruises on my heart

Broken hearts also mend with time

Breaking a heart is not a punishable crime

I'd rather be beaten than broken

At least at some point it comes to an end

With a beating I have the chance to defend

The hurt is on the outside and doesn't last long

A beating doesn't make me cry everytime I hear our song

I'd rather be beaten than broken

The hurt inside my soul is unrelenting

My unconditional love blinded me from preventing

Tears from the pain in my heart are unending

Every sad love song has my tears descending

MY SYMPATHIES

2010-01-21T11:15:00.000-08:00

In your time of loss and tragedy

when you're feeling down and raggedy

when the whole world seems in disarray

Remember, it is just today.

Open up your heart to the promise of tomorrow

Watch the sun rise to take away your sorrow

Watch the children play carefree

Remember what it is to be happy

Time heals all wounds, so they say

Yes, it will take more than one day

I offer my condolences to all of you

My heart felt sympathies, may God bless you.

GOODBYES ARE NEVER EASY

2010-01-21T11:00:00.000-08:00

I am a Mom

My Kids come before everything

I have a Son

For him I would do anything

I am a Mom

I love my kids with all my heart

I have a Son

With who I had to part

I am a Mom

My love is unconditional

I have a Son

Our family is untraditional

I am a Mom

Who had to make a choice

I have a Son

with an opinion and voice

I am a Mom

of a son who struggles with Authority

I have a Son

Who I have made my priority

I am a Mom

Who had to let go of pride

I have a Son

Who now with his Father does reside

I am a Mom

I have done all I can

I have a Son

Who needs the influence of a Man

I am a Mom

Who realized I couldnt do it all.

I have a Son

Who into crime I refuse to let him fall

I am a Mom

Who realized her Son needs his Dad

I have a Son

And without him I am sad

LE ME BE 12/31/03

2010-01-21T10:38:00.000-08:00

Let me be a memory

That always brings a smile

Let me be a daydream

That makes you happy for a while

Let me be a fantasy

The sexy Romantic style

Let me be the past

A happy memory file

SHADOW IN MY HEART

2010-01-21T10:33:00.001-08:00

There is a shadow in my heart

A heavy sigh in my soul

I dont know where to start

To make the emptiness whole

Ever since you left my side

You have never left my mind

My feelings I cannot hide

I've tried, I've tried, I've tried

To make the wrongs go right

I've cried, I've cried, I've cried

Everyday and every night.

ME 6/17/96

2010-01-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

When I look at myself in the mirror

I never see the same person twice

A daughter, a sister, a lover, a mom

A teacher, a student, a friend, and a foe

Sometimes she's young and sometimes she's old

She can be warm or she can be cold.

Once in a while she's beautiful and thin

Most of the time she's fat and ugly within

Sometimes I see a soul who is broken

Other times she's brave , bold, and outspoken

One minute happy, the next minute sad

She could be content or maybe mad

A woman, a child, both are inside

When one is out the other will hide

I know all these people are me

When I look in the mirror they are who I see.

TUG OF WAR 6/16/96

2010-01-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

My life is like a Tug of War

My spirits needs for complete control and complete freedom

Are battling my needs for love and commitment

My heart and my conscience are the audience

Watching, Waiting to see who wins, but not cheering for either side

My heart has no feeling and my conscience is silent

The battle of the two sides is at a standstill

Both sides are equally matched in importance and strength

My only question is which side will tire first

So that I can open my heart to feeling

And my conscience will be able to guide me again.

QUIET CONFIDENCE

2010-01-21T09:59:00.000-08:00

Quiet

As he passes

Flirting with dark eyes

Quiet

As he sits

Underneath dark skies

Quiet

As he watches

While I try to disguise..my eyes

Quiet

As he smiles

Is he walking my way

Quiet

As he walks

Yes, this will be the day

Quiet

As he turns

All he has to say, "This Way."

WORDS

2010-01-21T09:50:00.001-08:00

Words

they are a part of me

Words

express the very heart of me

Words

of inspiration, infatuation

Words

of even degradation

Words

they are a part of me

Words

to express what I feel

Words

to express how I deal

Words

of love and lust

Words

of hate and disgust

Words

they are the very heart of me

Words

not so easily spoken

Words

when my heart is broken

Words

they come and go

Words

aren't just for show

Words

they are a part of me

Words

they are the very heart of me.

LETTER TO THE NATION 2008

2010-01-21T09:39:00.000-08:00

I speak every day to my Sisters and Brothers
All of them family, all from different mothers.
They're in a country not there own.
Risking life, county days till they can come home.
They believe in their cause, believe in their fight.
They have to believe to get thru the fears of the night.
In this letter to the nation I want them to know,
There are those of us at home with tears that flow.
Families at home supporting our soldiers.
After all, they are just doing a job, following orders.
The orders of a government who is trying to save face.
May they all come home safely with Gods Grace.

I'm in love with a Gangsta

2010-01-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

I'm in love with a Gangsta
Don't you know, it's just my luck
Look at him, he's fine as fuck.
I'm in love with a Gangsta
Every night he's out past two
I tell myself, "Girl, whatcha gonna do?"
I'm in love with a Gangsta
With his nine strapped to his side
All the times he almost died.
I'm in love with a Gangsta
& when he comes into my bed
It's kissin and touchin with no words said.
I'm in love with a Gangsta.... A Gangsta
ooooh and when he comes to do the night thing
It's so hard to do the right thing.

VALENTINE

2010-01-20T11:45:00.001-08:00

I'll start with toes painted red
Legs, silky smooth spread across the bed
A satin red teddy barely covering my ass
Champagne bubbling over in my crystal glass
In a candlelit room with bedroom eyes
We meet with a kiss and passionate cries
In each others arms we fall to the floor
onto a soft bearskin rug as you sigh for more.

YOUR HEART

2010-01-20T11:43:00.000-08:00

ALL YOUR HEART CAN DO IS FEEL
IT DOES NOT SEE
IT DOES NOT HEAR
YOUR MIND HAS EARS AND EYES
DONT RELY ON WHAT YOU FEEL
RELY ON WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE.

WINTER LOVE

2010-01-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

In the Quiet, all around
Softly, gently, falling down
Whispering thru the winter breeze,
Blanketing the barren trees
White and fluffy to the eye
Falling from the darkened sky
What a beautiful sight it is to see
The snow fallling just for you and me.
At the cabin in the woods
We put on our coats with hoods
Out we go to brave the cold
Making snow angels never gets old.
Back inside by the fire
There is a warmth that will transpire
Outside snow falls gently in the night
Inside glowing embers of desire burn bright.

WHY DOES RACE EQUAL COLOR?

2010-01-20T10:54:00.001-08:00

Why does race equal color?
Who decided to use the color black to describe dark chocolate brown skin?
Black is the color of a dark moonless night.
A night that is clear with no clouds and no stars.
A uniform beauty that is peacefully beautiful.
Why does race equal color?
Who decided the color white would be the color to describe my skin?
White is the color of the brightest full moon.
A majestic beauty that is etherally beautiful.
Why does race equal color?
Who decided one color should be better than another?
The colors black and white both exist independently &
They coexist splendidly in the heavens created by God.
Why do the colors white and black not coexist splendidly &
independently here on his six day miracle creation?
Why does race equal color?
Together the Majestic dark of the night and the shining white of the Etheral moon
illuminate precious stars that twinkle uniquely.
Each color by themselve equally beautiful.
Together, they have inspired lifetimes of artistic expressions of their beauty.
Why does race equal color?
Who decided all things dark are negative and all things light are positive?
Who decided to accept that desciption?
Internally we are all the same, born the same, breathe the same, bleed the same.
Who decided race equals color?
Who will decide to deny that description?
Who will decide to find equalness in their uniqueness?
Who will deny accepting their position by skin recognition?
Who will accept both colors, white and black, as uniquely beautiful?
Who will believe the colors, black and white, harmoniously
creat uniquely expressive etheral beauty.

ROMANCE

2010-01-20T10:39:00.000-08:00

Whateva happened to romance?
Or falling in love at first glance?
Now you just wanna get in my pants
Gamin' with all your little boy rants.
It ain't that easy to be with me
I'm a single mom with a family
You just wanna have fun
but I'm lookin out for Number 1.

Whateva happened to romance?
Silly boy you have no chance
Yes I know I look good to you
Can you see more than my ass, Boo?
I live in todays reality
I got brains and personality
It's not all about the sex, boy
I am a woman, not a toy.
Whateva happened to romance?
a lil flair to enhance
Holdin hands and takin walks
Up all night heart to heart talks.
Dinners by candlelight
Soft music to get the mood right
Im not just a one night stand
So Romance I must demand.
Whateva happened to Romance?
Jumpin in to take a chance
Loving with all your heart
Never wanting to be apart.
I want more than just a friend
Someone to be there till the end
If that ain't what you're lookin for
Turn around and walk out my door.

G'Night

2010-01-20T10:10:00.001-08:00

G'night

as I kiss you softly on that spot,

behind your ear,

on your neck,

and then, breathe in your scent.

I sigh, in content,

at my success,

in arousing you.

G'night

as I slide my fingers down your arm,

across your chest,

into your hand.

You wonder, what that meant,

I sigh, in content,

at my success,

in teasing you.

G'night

as I move inclose and put my head here,

my leg there,

skin to skin,

and then, I let you in.

I sigh, in content,

at my success,

in pleasing you.

G'night

as I kiss you softly on that spot,

behind your ear,

on your neck,

and then, breathe in your scent.

I sigh, in content,

at my success,

at loving you.

G'night

as I lay in your arms, closing my eyes,

drift off to sleep,

dream of you,

and know, this is what is meant.

I sigh, in content,

at my success

in trusting you.

SEDUCTION

2010-01-20T10:01:00.000-08:00

It's in my walk

The way I talk

That look in my eye

When you walk by

Perfumed air

Sexy soft hair

Silky smooth skin

I make your head spin.

I am seducing you

The moment I lay eyes on you.

It's in my smile

Swagga, Lady Style

Sway in my hips

Glossy lucious lips

Jeans fittin tight

Breasts sit up right

I am oozing sexuality

You want me, that's reality.

I am seducing you

The moment I lay eyes on you.

Whispers in your ear

Kisses that seer

Touches that linger

Sucking your finger

Lowering my eyes

Your hand on my thigh

You didn't have a chance

It was lust at first glance.

I am seducing you

The moment I lay eyes on you.

life for "Hoodspeak"

2010-01-20T09:54:00.001-08:00

life
Im so sorry you're hurting
wishing I could take your pain
with my words, flirting
hoping to stop its reign
life
Everything happens for a reason
whatever that may be
as time passes and the seasons
may you find clarity
life
Full of senseless tragedies
events that shouldnt be
when you're feeling down, please
know you found a friend in me.

WE DESERVE BETTER

2010-01-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

The shootin in my hood again
Young men killing young men
They shootin in my hood again
And nobody cares
Nobody cares
But We Deserve Better
I live deep in the hood on the south side
Cant even let the kids play outside
With bullets flyin they run and hide
Cant take that chance so they stay inside.
They shootin in my hood again
Young men killin young men
And nobody cares
Nobody cares
But My kids deserve better
Bullets, they dont have a name
The Shooter, he dont have no shame
Everyday for him, its all the same
Doin what he do to stay in the game.
They shootin in my hood again
Young men Killin young men
They shootin in my hood again
And nobody cares
Nobody cares
But I deserve better
A single Mom and I work real hard
Live in a big house, have a big yard
Have a pitbull for a guard
Dont own a gun, wont play that card.
They shootin in my hood again
Young men killin young men
And nobody cares
Nobody cares
But they deserve better.
I have nightmares for my son
I fear the day he picks up a gun
A young man lookin out for number one
Just one shot and hes on the run
Or just one shot and his life is done.
They shooting in my hood again
Young men killin young men
They shootin in my hood again
And nobody cares
Nobody cares
But We Deserve Better.

I CAN BE URS, NEVER 1/6/09

2010-01-13T14:59:00.000-08:00

not man enuf to see my face
my hurt, my tears, my eyes
or u r afraid to face
that ur telling urself lies
either reason for the distance
there will come the day
it will all come back in the instance
u know thats what ur eyes will say
in my eyes u will see ur heart
a reflection of my love
as fortold by the stars chart
souls joined by heavens above
distance wont break this connection
thats what u will see
and i will see ur affection
thats why you avoid me.
time will pass and memories will fade
but the love is always there
our next meet no matter how long delayed
u will see the love we share.
but u will still be with her
ill be with whoever
then the hurt will be as it were
i can be urs, never

I AM LOST IN THE DARK 12/30/08

2010-01-13T14:56:00.000-08:00

I AM NOT OK
THE SADNESS WONT GO AWAY
I AM LOST IN THE DARK
EYES DULL, NO SPARK
I TRIED TO PRETEND
BUT THE TEARS WONT END
YOU ARE NO LONGER THERE
CANT BREATH, NO AIR
MY WORLD IS CRASHING
EACH BREATH A PAINFUL THRASHING
SLIPPING DEEPER INTO DEPRESSION
CANT SHARE, DARK CONFESSION
I DONT LIKE ME
OR THE ME I USED TO BE
I DONT WANT THIS LIFE
NO ONES LOVE, NO ONES WIFE
I LET MY LOVE GO
KILLING HOPE IN MY SOUL
I CAN NOLONGER GIVE MY HEART
TO DAMAGED, TO TORN APART
no one to hold me
no one consoling me
no one that truly does care
dark confession, cant share
I AM NOT OK
THE SADNESS WONT GO AWAY
I AM LOST IN THE DARK
EYES DULL, NO SPARK

I GAVE YOU ME 7/25/08

2010-01-13T14:54:00.000-08:00

I feel everything...
to deeply...
I take everything...
personally...
but its not my fault...
this is who I am...
its not who I pretend to be...I gave u me..........
I gave u my heart...
and my trust...
I let down my guard...
love came from lust...
but its not my fault...
I have fallen...
its not who I pretend to be...I gave u me.................
Im always longing for...
your touches...
Im always dreaming of...
ur kisses...
but its not my fault...
Im in love with u...
its not who I pretend to be...I gave u me............
now Im feelin...
kinda lonely...
and this feelin...
my one and only...
this is my fault...
cuz I knew...
I should not have gave u me...
I should have gave u who I pretend to be..............
now its to late ...
to turn back the clock...
the love i feel for u...
has my heart on lock...
but its not my fault...
u are my friend...
I wasnt who I pretend to be...
cuz You asked me to give you me....
BLU 7-25-08

B.I.T.C.H. 7/30/08

2010-01-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

I know u like what u see when u look at my pics..
but u aint gettin with this so stop sendin pics of ya dicks.....
I'd rather see it in person pics dont do nuthin for me...
NO I dont play I show u, u show me...
if u think u got game I wish u good luck...
Im not that girl who just lays down to fuck...
dont even bother if u aint gettin paid...
Yes Im a B.I.T.C.H. and no I dont need to get laid...
I just know what I want and it dont start with lust...
u gotta be on my level or above thats a must....
Im tired of broke dudes who just wanna sex me...
and think I am easy cuz I dont hide my sexy.
I only wanna be friends not tryna holla at u...
if u just wanna fuck dont even holla at Blu...
Yes Im a B.I.T.C.H. and no I dont need to get laid...
it is what it is, enough said.

THIS IS ME THIS IS WHAT I DO 2/3/09

2010-01-13T14:47:00.000-08:00

I'M FINALLY OK WITH BEING ME
NO LONGER AM I FEELING LONELY
ACTUALLY PREFERRING BEING SINGLE
FREE TO FLIRT MIX - N - MINGLE
WE CAN BE FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO
I GIVE U MY WORD TO BE TRU
JUST ASK AROUND MY HOOD
THE WORD OF BLU IS GOOD
BUT DONT ASK FOR MY HEART..
ONCE TOO MANY ITS BEEN RIPPED APART
I CHOOSE TO SIT HOME ALONE
ALL I GOTTA DO IS PICK UP MY PHONE
"ARE U FREE" IS THIER FAVORITE TEXT
IF THEY SAY "NO" ITS ON TO THE NEXT
I'M NOT A PLAYA I'M DOING ME
I'LL GET BACK ATCHU WHEN I'M FREE
I CAN LOVE YOU AS MY FRIEND
MY BROKEN HEART HAS TO MEND
THIS IS ME THIS IS WHAT I DO
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SEXY BLU?
I DONT NEED YOURS I GOT MY OWN
DONT BE MAD CUZ I'M ACTIN GROWN
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU IT'S ABOUT ME
YOU'RE JUST ONE FISH IN A SEA OF SEXY
IT'S GONNA BE THE ONE WHO STAYS ON THE LINE
LETS ME REEL HIM IN TO CATCH THIS HEART OF MINE
JUST LETTING YOU KNOW TO STEP UP YOUR GAME
I'M GONNA KEEP THE BIG FISH DONT WANT A LAME
WHEN I FINALLY DO REEL IN MY PRIZE
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE WILL BE IN MY EYES
THIS IS ME THIS IS WHAT I DO
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SEXY BLU?
I'M FINALLY OK WITH BEING ME
NO LONGER AM I FEELING LONELY

DUMB LUCK

2009-11-08T16:37:00.000-08:00

He's not a Playa, He's a G
He has a Grown Mans Mentality
It was just my Dumb Luck
That all you wanted to do was fuck
He calls it Lovin', Not Fuckin'
It's not Luck when I get my nut in
He kisses me, I tingle
For him I gave up being single
He don't need to turn his Swag on
He's so damn cute with his du rag on
He's so chill, He's so cool
He's so laidback, He's Oldschool

He's not a Playa, but He has game
He's a grown Man, not at all lame
It was just my Dumb Luck
That all you wanted to do was fuck
His lips are so enticing
He licks me till I'm Icing
I shiver beneath his fintertips
He can't keep his hands off my hips
He don't need to turn his Swag on
An Original G, not a Mack, He's a Don
He's so chill, He's so cool
He's so laidback, He's Oldschool

He's not a Playa, He's all Reality
He has a Grown Mans Ideality
It was just my Dumb Luck
That all you wanted to do was fuck
He's my bestfriend, He's my lover
Theres no need to keep us undercover
Undercover is a different story
I don't have to share his Pride, or my Glory
He don't need to turn his Swag on
Keeps it One Hunnit even when He's gone
He's so chill, He's so cool
He's so laidback, He's Oldschool

He's not a Playa, He's my Boo
He's a Grown Man and that's not you
It was just my Dumb Luck
That all you wanted to do was fuck
He loves me and is mine only
He's promised to never leave me lonely
He hits that G spot till I bust
My aphrodisiac is our trust
He don't need to turn his Swag on
A Gentleman Thug who doesn't leave at dawn
He's so chill, He's so cool
He's so laidback, He's Oldschool

He's not a Playa or a Grown up Boy
I'm his one and only Lady, not his toy
It was just my Dumb Luck
That all you wanted to do was fuck
He wants to make me his family
He wants to love, Protect and Marry
My Dumb Luck gave him a chance
I found love at Second glance
He don't need to turn his Swag on
No need for Swag cuz he's a Man , Son
He's so chill, He's so cool
He's so laidback, He's Oldschool

INFINITY by BLU

2009-09-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

With You, love, I thought I knew
with Divine, love, Everything is brand new
I know you think I fell to fast
I took a risk,
on something that has a chance to last.
What allowed me to set my heart free?
He is taking a risk on loving me.
This is a love birthed from trust
It was a friendship,
before it became lust.
Both of us taking a mutual leap
having faith in each other neither will creep.
Both of us having felt that pain
neither of us wishing to feel it again.
I am his Queen
he treats me like royalty.
In return I love him with loyalty.
He has promised to love and protect my heart.
I have promised to love him to Infintity,
Death do us Part.

DIGITAL NATION

2009-08-25T12:52:00.000-07:00

WE HAVE BECOME A DIGITAL NATION
EVERYTHING DIGITAL IN EQUATIION
CLOCKS AND WATCHES WENT FROM TICK TOCK TO BEEP BEEP
WE'RE TOLD CHANGE WAS BETTER & WE FOLLOWED LIKE SHEEP
IT BECAME A DIGITAL REVOLUTION
OR AS SOME SAY DIGITAL EVOLUTION
CAMERAS, CELLPHONES, AND TELEVISIONS
DIGITAL EQUALS CLEARER, CRIPSER, BETTER DECISION
FROM ANALOG TO DIGITAL
WE WILL CLEARLY SWITCH IT ALL
AS WE HAVE ALREADY SEEN
CUZ WE CANT GET RECEPTION WITH OUT AN HDTV SCREEN
IM NOT SAYING GOING DIGITAL IS ALL BAD.
BUT CHANGE WITHOUT CHOICE MAKES ME SAD.
THEN AS I RELIGHT MY JOINT
I TAKE PAUSE TO RETHINK MY POINT
THUMPING OUT MY DIGITAL DOLBY SURROUND SOUND
& VIBRATING EVERYTHING ALL AROUND
WAS MR. DIGITAL, ICADON
& THIS CD HE SAID HE WAS ON
IT WAS RIGHT THEN I KNEW
I HAD GONE DIGITAL TOO!

DIVINE INTERVENTION

2009-08-22T10:25:00.000-07:00

I thought I knew heavenly exstacy
but that was until he layed next to me
he touches so sweet, so tenderly
I get butterflies as he enters me.
Seering hot kisses sparking my skin
lightening strikes everytime he goes in
no stopping till mutual contention
everytime a spiritual Divine Intervention.
Love growing from loyalty and trust
Love not birthed through only lust
A mutual desire for affection a must
Honor, dignity throughout life until dust.
He spoke these words that set my heart free
"no one I've been with ever cared to see
nore have they understood the artist in me"
It was then I knew how special he would be.
I know exactly how it hurts your heart
for no one to understand that crucial part
We understood each other from the start
Suddenly struck by Cupids Knowing Dart.
All my distractions in life instantly shifted
all my fears in giving love lifted
allowing myself to accept his love unresisted
Blessed as Lovers we are Divinely gifted.
Both of us believed we were eternally Broken
"I love you" now said with meaning when spoken
the sex so intense we leave the sheets soakin
Every touch between us a supremely divine token.
Every day I smile in rejoice
I fell by chance and not by choice
I prayed so long God would hear my voice
Now thanking God everytime Divine gets me moist.

DIVINE ART

2009-07-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

With gentle eyes you gaze upon me
Your smile brings me peace
Into each others hearts we can see
Just when we thought our hearts would cease
This special friendship that we share
Has brought our hearts relief
Just when I thought mine couldnt care
I found your heart in grief
Tenderly I kiss to ease your pain
Giving you a gentle place to fall
A place where you can feel sane
A place you can be you and express all
I see your heart as you draw each line
The loss your suffering I know
Healing your heart is healing mine
Through your pen strokes tender and slow
I have lived the pain you are feeling
My heart shattered by my soul mate
Having a special friend helps the healing
Us meeting was not just fate
I had prayed for help to mend my heart
Accepting a life with no love only lust
Spiritually you were sent to me by Divine Art
Easily a soulful recognition of trust
My soul withering in a heart of ashes
Your soul seering in flames of heart break
My life was your future in flashes
I needed to give and you needed to take
Truly greatful we found each other friend
so glad we are real, no games, no tricks
being there for your heart has mine on the mend
Rebirthing, my faith in love rising as the Phoenix.

Feelin Freaky

2009-07-06T22:20:00.000-07:00

yah...Im your lil white chic in the Hood
Im the one you call when your up to no good
long blonde hair, with big blue eyes,
5 foot 5, nice round ass, and thick thighs..
Jus when you thought it cant get no betta..
you slide up in this pussy and aint felt none wetta
you know you love how I do it to you
thats why you keep coming back for more of your boo.
When youre feeling freaky you call on Diamond Blu
When Im feeling freaky, If youre lucky, imma call you.

You can spank my ass and pull my hair
smash me down with my legs in the air
dontcha worry Daddy, Im grown, I wont break
getcha nut off Daddy, do whatever it takes
Make me scream out, its ok, the beats are on blast
get it in deep daddy, how long can you last
I know a few moves that will make your toes curl
Imma show out the Hood in this lil white girl.
When youre feeling freaky you call on Diamond Blu
When Im feeling freaky, if youre lucky, Imma call you.

goodbyes

2009-05-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

I HATE SAYING GOODBYE TO YOU

NO IDEA WHAT HAS BROUGHT OUT THIS EMOTION

DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU DO

DONT KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS DEVOTION

ALL I KNOW IS WHEN WE SAY OUR GOODBYES

IM HOLDING BACK THE TEARS IN MY EYES

I HATE SAYING GOODBYE TO YOU

EVEN IF I KNOW THE GOODBYE IS NOT FOREVER

SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT US BOO

ALREADY LONGING FOR OUR NEXT ENDEAVOR

I HOPE I DONT HAVE TO WAIT LONG TO SEE YOU AGAIN

ALWAYS AND FOREVER I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND

BLU GOT A GUN

2009-04-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

it was all jus for fun
the day Blu got a gun
now she's on the run
cuz the whole thing came undone
what did her Daddy do
to break her heart in two
to make her wanna I O U
it was just a lovers rendezvous
Blu got a gun
blu got a gun
It was all jus for fun
then it all came undone
She jus wanted to hear him say
today was not their last day
she got the gun jus for play
she hid it under the breakfast tray
what did her Daddy do
to break her heart in two
to make her wanna I O U
she jus wanted to be his boo
blu got a gun
blu got a gun
it was all jus for fun
but now shes on the run
she took the tray up to their room
she saw the picture as he hit zoom
when his eyes met hers he saw his doom
he lost his chance to be her groom
what did her Daddy do
to break her heart in two
to make her wanna I O U
she jus wanted to say I do
blu got a gun
blu got a gun
it was all jus for fun
the whole thing came undone
a single tear ran down her cheek
suddenly his knees went weak
forgiveness he wanted to seek
but beneath the tray he caught a peek
what did her daddy do
to break her heart in two
to make her wanna I O U
she jus wanted him to be True
blu got a gun
blu got a gun
it was all jus for fun
now shes on the run
a modern day Bonni and Clyde
together forever ride till they died
his blood is mixed with tears she cried
shot thru the heart by his future bride
it was all just for fun
the day blu got a gun
now shes on the run
the whole thing came undone
what did her daddy do
to break her heart in two
to make her wanna I O U
she vanished burning every clue
blu got a gun
blu got a gun
it was all jus for fun
the whole thing came undone
blu got a gun
blu got a gun
blu got a gun
blu got a gun
it was all jus for fun

BEAUTIFUL LIES

2009-04-16T11:54:00.000-07:00

i know this feeling all too well
beautiful lies keep me under his spell
the hurt inside eats away at my shell
intoxicated by his smell
his lips, mesmorized by the story they tell
dont know exactly when i fell
love sick, when he's not here I dont feel well
im stuck between heaven and hell.

CODE BLU

2009-04-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

Imma lil late to this game
Im puttin Playa Playas to shame
a few heartbreaks but I learned the rules
I get what I want when I use my tools

I hypnotize with my blu eyes
I accentuate my curves hips and thighs
No man can say no to this cutie
I mesmerize with my unique innner beauty

Imma shawtie with sex appeal
I got killa legs in my high heels
I tantalize with Vicki's secret scents
I flirt with style class and elegance

code Blu
one u look in her eyes she got u
code blu
stealing hearts with sexy sighs of "Daddy love u"
code blu
When u think u got her, she got u

Dont fall in love with her cuz she'll break ur heart
You didnt have a chance she was damaged from the start.

code Blu
stopping hearts where ever she rolls thru
code blu
If youre lucky you'll just skip a beat or two
code blu
once u let her in she got u.

I hint to you bout the freak in me
I'll tell you bout my wild history
I let you caress my tiger tattoo
I whisper in your ear 'got piercings too'

You neva met anyone sweet as me
Indepenedent, strong, I keep it real but sexy
a few heartbreaks but I learned the rules
Now Im taking plays playas to school

Imma lil late to this game
but now everybody knows my name
If you real with me Im real with you
You give love to me u get love from Code Blu

code blu
if u are fake she is thru with u
code blu
when u think ur playin her she playin u
code blu
you dont own her heart she owns u
code blu

dont fall in love with her cuz she'll break ur heart
you didnt have a chance she was damaged from the start

code blu
stopping hearts wherever she rolls thru
code blu
if ur lucky you'll just skip a beat or two
code blu
cant help but to let her in then she got u
code blu

WHEN I LET GO

2009-04-15T09:41:00.000-07:00

WHEN I LET GO MY LOVE FOR YOU
I FELT IT LEAVE MY HEART
EXCRUTIATING, PAINFUL, RELIEF
FREEDOM
NUMB
CONFUSING, HAZY, DISBELIEF
I DIDNT EXPECT THE TEARS TO DEPART
WHEN I LET GO MY LOVE FOR YOU.

LEGALIZATION

2009-04-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

The day I started smokin weed
I wondered why I waited
A miracle plant from a tiny seed
Didnt care bout anything I hated
I no longer take prescriptions
Anxiety replaced by confidence
No more negative inflictions
Life is sweeter on the other side of the fence
Harmonius Sensation
Legalization
Hustlers out there selling weed
Who says crime doesnt pay
The winner is the one with more greed
The day he dies might be today
Maybe he will take out the competition
Thats why he carries a gun
Want to put an end to the repitition
There is a way it can be done
Criminal Cessation
Legalization
Its all love when I smoke weed
I have no enemies, just friends
the government should take heed
Instead of war puff an OZ to make amends
Heal our Inflictions
Legalization
Decrease Convictions
Legalization
Bring peace to our Nation
Legalization

AINT NOTHING LIKE THE REAL THING

2009-04-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

Soho was the place to be on a Saturday night in Syracuse. After months of internet foreplay, phone sex, sexting, and cyber sexing with the web cam and my toy collection, I had enough teasing and agreed to meet you in person. Even though you loved watching me maneuver my rabbit and my silver bullet and playing on the cam was alot of fun, I needed to know what your sexy chocolate brown body felt like in every way I could feel it.
Soho was on and poppin as usual. I made sure to get there early to have a chance to down a little liquid courage. Some of the girls from from work were out on the dance floor. I didnt see you yet so I decided to join them till I saw you. Only I didnt see you first, you saw me.
The spot was crowded as usual. Dancing with the girls, I didnt see you walk past and take a spot at the bar. You had no problem locating me immediately. Long blonde hair flowing all the way down my back to my beautiful round ass, with my satin baby blue dress and 4 inch silver stillettos. I had you biting your lip already. The front of the dress was cut low in a vee to show off the soft creamy white cleavage of my breast. The back of the dress was cut low to show off that butterfly tattoo you have been desiring to kiss on the small of my back. The stilletos gave four inches to my tiny 5' 6" frame making my legs seem never ending. Just looking at me you already had a semi hard on. Smiling to yourself, you noticed the men off to the side watching me shake my ass and knew they were all semi hard too. Only you knew you had the advantage they didn't. I was there for you.
You finished up your dose of liquid courage and stepped away from the bar headed in my direction. You mad sure to make eye contact with the men watching me with that "I'm taking this home" look and smile. They followed suit with the "go ahead and get shot down playa" nod and grin. Walking up behind me, you slid you hands over the blue satin on my hips round to the front right beneath my breasts. Even with the four inch stillettos you still had to lean down to whisper into my ear that it was you. My breathing became short and quick with excitement as I began to turn around to see you face to face. You held me facing away from you whispering in the other ear, "Not yet." I almost couldnt hear the music anymore. My mind and body were focused on what you were doing as you pulled me against your semi hard on. One hand on my waist holding me against you, the other tracing the outline of my breast circling my nipple which you knew from pictures was pierced, you breathe in and take in the powdery perfumed scent of my hair. Exhaling, you nudge aside my hair, then inhale the scent of my neck and shoulder before you softly kiss my flesh. The only words yous spoke during the whole dance , " so much sexier than I ever imagined and I havent even had the pleasure of looking into your beautiful ocean blue eyes."
Dancing slightly slower than everyone else on the dance floor, I came be aware that the DJ had gone old skool with some Tupac, but then Tupac is timeless. Grindin my ass to the music all over your semi hard on, teasing you, wraping my arms up behind me around your neck, I ask you, " how do you want it?" I felt the pressure in your jeans get almost explosive. I couldnt be mad at you. I was more than ready for you myself. Taking you by the hand, I lead you off the dance floor to a dark corner in the back of the lounge where we would have little privacy. I leaned against the wall, pulling you close to me. For the first time that night I looked up into your deep chocolate brown eyes. You didnt even give me a chance to catch my breath. Your lips touched mine timidly at first not sure if the kiss was mutually desired at that moment.When your kiss met no resistance, you leaned in with your whole body. Your hands traveling from my waist to my ass and grasping slightly to feel the firmness. Your hard on now throbbing as you part my lips with your tongue and invade my mouth seeking mine. My hands have traveled from your chiseled chest the buckle on your belt. Not getting any resistence from you I proceeded to unbuckle, unbutton, unzip, and slid my hands into your jeans. I grabbed onto your very thick throbbing erection with one hand and slip my hand up your shirt over your rippeled abs. I got that butterfly feeling in my stomach and a slight pulsing in my clit. Leaning back against the wall and biting my lip, I look you in the eye. Seeing the desire in my eyes, you trace my curves from my shoulder, over my breast, down my hips, to the hem of my short blue satin dress. I saw that split second flash of excitement in your eyes as your hand went under my dress. Slowly gliding over my soft warm flesh, up my hip, till you found my thong , and then tracing the edge with your finger as light as a feather till you reach down between my legs. You delight in watching my expressions as you do this. However my hands have been just as busy as yours because your erection has been released from your boxers and I am slowly stroking it as it grows harder.
Reaching the lowest part of my thong, you rub my clit through the lacy material. Feeling the wetness, you lick your lips and slip you fingers into my panties. First your fingers rub the clit then venture into the deeper wetness. I gasp a little surprised, then ride your fingers increasing the wetness till my gloss is starting to run down my legs. I feel my muscles tighten as Im about to orgasm, but I stop you. Pulling you deeper into the dark corner and behind a ficus, I bend down and lick the rim around the head of your erection, stopping at the bottom and slowly licking up the head to the tip with my warm wet tongue. I spit on the head and stroke the spit down your shaft with my hand. Following my hand with my lips, I take you slowly deep into my mouth. Your whole body quivers as I pull back up off your erection swirling my tongue around the head while still in my mouth, and then sucking it till my lips part away from the tip. I spit again but you stop me before I have the chance to repeat the previous action. You lift my head by the chin and give me the serious dead ass in the eye look of "I'm gonna fuck you here and now."Still holding my chin, you keep my eyes hostage as you bring your lips to mine. While kissing, you grab me by the ass and lift me up. I wrap my legs around your hips. Still kissingme, you pull the thong to the side and pull me onto your hot throbbing cock. Your thrusts are slow as if you wish to savor the experience of the soft, wet, tightness around your hard erection. My breathing is getting deeper and more shallow as each thrust ends in the most excruciating pleasure of my clit hitting your rock hard abs. Your thrusts are getting deeper and quicker. Your breaths getting shallow and quick. You want to explode but your holding it back. I whisper in your ear, "Get it Daddy." The words set off a chain reaction in your body. You grab my ass tighter, pull me onto you harder and faster, and then your warmth shoots all inside me as your body shakes with the eruption. Holding me there against the wall you kiss my shoulder, my neck and then my lips. Touching your forehead to mine you slip your still semihard erection out and the results of what we just did streams down the inside of my thighs. You kiss me as you are putting everything back int is place and breathlessly confess, " Sooo much sexier than than I ever imagined and aint NOTHING like the real thing baby...now lets get out of here and go to your place where I can do you Mami. But first lets stop and get you some new toys cuz we still gonna do the web cam thing when I go home, right?"Laughing, mostly at you, I giggle out a maybe. You reply, with a smack on the ass and a kiss, "You betta."

A LIL THUG & A LIL GENTLEMAN

2009-04-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

5-8-08

You say you can win me ova

You claim to be a supa lova

But are you ready for a love like mine?

Do you think together we will shine?

Its real easy to fall in love with me

You know you have my complete honesty

But are you prepared for what I need from you?

Complete Honesty, Its that easy boo.

It aint easy for me to meet a ten

whos a lil thug and a lil gentleman

Someone who strives for money, power, respect

with the smarts to keep the attitude in check

That is what Im lookin for in my boo

Oh yes, a supa lova, must have that too

Sexiness to sweep me off my feet

Aggressive, with an edge and twice as sweet.

You say you can win me ova

you claim to be a supa lova

But are you ready for a love like mine?

cause there no goin back once we cross this line

Its real easy to fall in love with me

My pretty blu eyes and curves are sexy

You know Ill aways be true once I commit to you

Is that a promise you think you can keep boo?

It aint easy for me to open up my heart

this is what I need for feelings of love to start

a lil thug and a lil gentleman

a lil romance and a lot a hot sexin

This is what Im lookin for in my boo

Oh yes, a supa lova?, I got you too

Impress me with your intelligence

your street smarts, class and elegance

You think you can win me ova

You claim you are a super lova

But are you prepared to follow thru

once you get me to open my heart to you

Its real easy to fall in love with me

the kinda love that inspires poetry

I kiss, I touch, I desire with passion

I live, I love with no fear of crashin

It aint easy for me to let down my guard

Play Poker?, I call, show your last card

are you? a lil thug , a lil gentleman

Tru love is the prize, are you all in?

This is what Im lookin for in my boo

Oh yes, a supa lova, you got some work to do

Electrifying chemistry to light my fire

Passion, energy and love to fullfill my desire

That is what it takes to win me ova

that is what Im lookin for in a lova

A sexy lil thug to keep it interestin

the heart of a complete gentleman.

GOOD MORNING

2009-04-08T13:51:00.000-07:00

Good Morning 3/26/08

Upon waking

still have not opened my eyes

I hear the rise & the fall

of your sleeping sighs.

The sun rising

room filling with delicate light

I feel the warmth of your body

as you hold me so tight..

I lay praying

you are real & I am not dreaming

I smell the linger of your cologne

& I am blissfully gleaming

I am happy

from the inside out without a doubt

I taste the sweetness of your kisses

bringing the passion inside me out.

Good Morning

as we lay together lustful & spent

my intuition senses

my life with you will be content.

Blu

WITH NO WORDS

2009-04-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

With no words
so much can be said
Its all in the moment
body language, faces read
The breathing is labored
taking air in shallow and quick
silence between, with eyes low
blood running hot and thick
bodies lean in as skin touches skin
senses explode like lightening strikes
each touch as electrifying as the first
already knowing likes and dislikes
firmer and longer the embraces become
the body temp rises and everything tingles
outer layers shed, combustions of scents
breathed in, as the aroma lingers and mingles
A golden hue surrounding blessed touches
Sacred gifts given as the world disappears
Warmth and oneness of souls emblazen
as passionate fires release all fears
The fire engulfs, a tumultuous explosion
cadent hearts drumming all other sounds out
shortness of breath, limbs entwined
eye catches eye finding no doubt
Molten muscle and flesh quickly cooling
unable to discover where one body ends or begins
Reality awakened by sweet perspiration
With no words
so much can be said
Its all in the moment
body language, faces red.

THE WAY WE WERE

2009-04-07T11:30:00.001-07:00

I THE REMEMBER THE DAY HE BECAME A STRANGER
IT WAS THE DAY HE PUT OUR LIL GIRL IN DANGER
I CANT FORGIVE WHAT HE DID TO ME AND HER
BUT I CANT STOP REMEMBERING...
THE WAY WE WERE
EVERY TIME WE SPEAK I END UP IN TEARS
MY HEART LONGS FOR HIM LIKE IT HASNT BEEN 2 YEARS
AT FAMILY GATHERINGS I PUT THE HURT ASIDE
PUT MY ARMS AROUND A STRANGER THE MAN I LOVE IS STILL INSIDE
HE FEELS THE PAIN IN ME AND WONT LET GO THE HUG
I FEEL THE PAIN IN HIM CUZ HE CANT LET GO THE DRUG
IN OUR LIL GIRL OUR SOULS OUR LOVE ALWAYS JOINED AS ONE
EVEN THO WE ARE SEPARATE NOW THAT BOND WILL NEVER COME UNDONE
I REMEMBER THE DAY HE BECAME A STRANGER
THE DAY HE PUT OUR LOVE OUR SOULS OUR LIL GIRL IN DANGER
THE MAN WE LOVED IS LOST TO ME AND HER
BUT I CANT STOP REMEMBERING...
THE WAY WE WERE.

BLU 2/6/09

I GOTTA HATE YOU

2009-04-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

I GOTTA HATE YOU
10-29-08 (C)
BY
BLU

NO DONT ASK ME HOW I DO ME
DONT ASK HOW IMMA GET OVER YOU, HOMIE
NO I DONT CARE IF MY WORDS HURT YOU
I DONT WANT US OVER , YOU DO
PLEASE DONT EXPECT ME TO BE NICE
MY HEART IS BLU AND COLD AS ICE

IM FINALLY GONNA LET YOU GO
CANT DO US NO MORE
SO IM LETTIN U KNOW
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
MY LOVE WAS SO DEEP
SO IM LETTIN YOU KNOW
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO

DONT GET TIGHT WHEN YOU SEE ME FLIRTIN
I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF YOU IS HURTIN
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT SO THIS IS WHAT YOU GET
KNOW U HATIN ANUTHA NIGGA GONNA GET THIS PUSSY WETT
PLEASE DONT EXPECT ME TO BE NICE
MY HEART IS BLU AND COLD AS ICE

IM FINALLY GONNA LET YOU GO
UR NOT DADDY NO MORE
SO IM LETTIN YOU KNOW
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
I FELL IN LOVE SO DEEP
SO IM LETTIN YOU KNOW
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO

NO DONT YOU LOOK FOR LOVE IN MY EYES
OR FOR MY SMILE TO BRIGHTEN YOUR SKIES
YOU'RE GONNA MISS BEIN MY NUMBER ONE
THERES NO GOIN BACK WE'RE ALL DONE
PLEASE DONT EXPECT ME TO BE NICE
MY HEART IS BLU AND COLD AS ICE

IM FINALLY GONNA LET YOU GO
NOT 'BOUT YOU NO MORE
SO IM LETTIN YOU KNOW
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
THE HURT IS SO BAD
SO IM LETTING YOU KNOW
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO
I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO

I GOTTA HATE YOU

I GOTTA HATE YOU TO LET YOU GO

Passionate Penetration

2009-04-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

I love to be touched from head to toe
when we kiss, I love the kisses deep and slow
I keep my eyes wide open even with lids low from dro.
When we touch Im so into you time stands still
Im embracing every moment mentally recording every thrill
I savor the memories so I can recall them at will.
every breathe you take cherished you're sharing it with me
our hearts beat to one rythem like waves crashing at sea
passionate penetration of souls worshipped by the powers blessed be.
our bodies dripping with lustful glowing perspiration
an intellectual sexual exasperating inspiration
our true feelings released in intimate celebration.
My words are pretty when I describe the touches between me and you
my heart is involved when we do what we do
I make love with my words to express how you make me feel boo.
But let me say without flowery reflection
wait a minute, stop, finna take this in a whole new direction
we dont just make love, we fuck, let me make that correction.
we spend days in intellectual flirty foreplay
not knowing exactly when we will get to play
increasing the friction that will ignite the fire on that day.
we cant even hide the thirst in our eyes
or the wanting desires in our lustful sighs
as ur hands carress my ass, hips and thighs.
seering hot kisses as u feel up my breast
my hands explores down into your boxers from your chest
as we make our way up to the bedroom to have our love fest.
so hungry for each other we dont even get all the clothes off
turn me around, bend me over, push deep and hard whispering 'your so soft.'
we devour each other, making love, fucking, till our souls hover entwined aloft.
as climax is met we fall further, mind and body spent
I snuggle into you, arms tucked legs bent
and all i want to do is breath ur scent

Have I Found My Soldier?

2009-04-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

A soldier was sent to be in a war that no one understood. He lay awake at night thinking of all the things he missed at home. He never saw her but he felt her presence with him every night as he drifted off to sleep and to dream of home. His Guardian Angel watched over him, and she would help him sleep by kissing his forehead every night. She would hover above him and watch her soldier sleep. She admired his bravery, and his beauty. One night as he was drifting somewhere between sleep and awake she noticed he seemed to be looking right at her. She fell in love.It wasnt unheard of for a Guardian Angel to fall in love with her charge, and she never dreamed she would act on her feelings. She tried to fight the urge of revealing herself to him. She knew if she did it would mean the end of her eternal life as an angel. She would no longer be able to travel between earth and heaven and care for her human charges. She would be stuck on earth unnoticed till she withered away into nothingness. She would hover over his body and whisper in his ear her love for him. While his eyes were closed she made herself visible praying that one night he would actually see her and fall in love with her too. She would carress his face, and lay next to him keeping him safe.The Lord learned of her love, and although he felt sorry for the Angel he reminded her of what would happen if she acted on her feelings for the soldier. The Angel cried, real tears, and the Lord cried with her.One night as she lay next to her soldier he woke. He had felt her kisses, and smelled the sweetness of a fresh spring breeze. He asked aloud for her to be with him. He told his Angel he could feel her love. He confessed he was afraid he wouldnt be going home. He just needed to feel the love of a woman and be held and be loved before his life ended. The Angel knew what she would be giving up to grant his wish. Her love was stronger than the desire for eternity.The warm dry air blew as she kissed his lips in the desert night. When she pulled back the soldier saw the most beautiful blonde creature he had ever seen immersed in a golden light. She took him by the hand and they walked what seemed to be forever to where no one would witness her sin. She removed her gown and revealed creamy white satin flesh. Her wings unfolded and fluttered as she removed his uniform. They were surrounded by warm glowing stars and protected by the darkness. She touched his body and kissed his soul with hers. She lay him down and made love to her soldier. She loved him with every essence of her heavenly being. The soldier had never felt such exstacy. His body trembled with excitement and burned with the passion.The Angel had never known physical love. She reveled in the pleasure of the touches of her soldier. He loved her for her gift, not knowing what she was giving up to be with him.After, as they laid together, she looked her soldier in the eye and confessed her love. She also confessed the consequences of her love. She had given him her eternal life and no matter what happened in this war he would survive and live to love another. When she got up her wings were gone. He cried real tears for her. She was not human for she had never been, she was a fallen Angel. Stranded on earth for eternity and destined to love the soldier forever. She vanished. The soldier woke the next day, and it all felt like a dream to him. But his body remembered her touch. He had a single tear in his eye knowing she was gone and he wouldnt feel her touch again. He smiled and was joyous for her gift. The purity of her love would save his life over and over. The gift would take him home to family and future loves. When the war did end finally the soldier went home. The Fallen Angel cried real tears again. The Lord felt sorry for her and cried with her again. He told her because her act of giving up her eternity was the most unselfish act of love he had witnessed she could either have her eternity back or become human and hope that her soldier would find her on earth and love her as human.She didnt hesitate. She chose to be human, and the Lord Named her April for she was the scent of spring.Have I found my soldier?

Twisted with Dro 5/15/08

2009-04-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

Twisted with dro

lids lower than low

Boy

take a look in my eyes

look at me

look at me gettin high with you.

Have you ever seen eyes so Blu?

so tru?

Twisted with Dro

YOU dont even know

Boy

take a look in these eyes

as you get lost in your high

you’ll get lost in them too

Blu as the ocean

tru as Blu

Boy look at me

getting high

love gettin high with you.

Blu

TORMENTED

2009-04-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Tormented 12/18/02
Tired, beaten, weary soul of mine my inner light is losing its shine.
Every night and every day I pray for my Tormentor to go away.
His words cut deeply into my heart.
His words of hatred tear me apart.
And just when I think he can cause no more pain,
He spouts more hurtful things over and over again.
His angry words are only half my strife.
He has this cold angry stare as if he wanted to take my life.
Although its been a while since I felt his heavy hands
He creates fear in me because he raises them up now and again.
Whats worse than the way he makes me feel,
are the things I want to do when I cant deal.
All I want to do is close my eyes and go to sleep.
I dont want to wake up, I pray the Lord my soul he’ll keep.
I’m not the same naive girl I used to be.
My faith is tainted and jaded with ugly.
I do things and say things that make me not like who I have become.
I pray for quiet peace. Please Lord give me some.
So many times I have thought things I’m ashamed to speak,
but how long can one last being tormented week after week.
I have a small child thats why I cling to this weary life of mine.
But I feel I’m losing my grasp no matter how much I say "Everything will be just fine."
Last night I was close to falling off the edge of sanity.
His looks, his words, his smugful vanity.
I never felt such vile hate in all my years.
I think he gets a kick out of reducing me to endless tears.
I actually felt such a rage, such a loss of self awareness.
I wanted to snuff out the source of all my pain and unfairness.
I raised my voice, I raised my hand!
I said things to cause him pain!
Now I am no better than him, and it did no good.
Shame was my only gain.
Tired, beaten, weary soul of mine.
My inner light has lost its shine.